Thursday, October 11, 2007

Martians

From: Michael.*******@********.com (Contributor to The Josh & Lewis Blog)
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 10:54 AM

everybody's a little testy today .. testy .. test .. testies ...
tes
teez

hehe testicles ..yea testicles ..

So i'm sitting here staring at my cube. I like my cube. I'm glad it's not a circle though. It's lunch time here at ******************. I always enjoy seeing the fat people who work here bring in these lite highpower protein lunches.. There thinking to themselves while there eating... “HEY look at me I'm gonna get THIN! When actually it should be .. I'm a fat ass and I can't get off my duff to work out…”

I don't know why I'm mean in this email .. it just seems like fun

:D

I need to work out as well. So yea i should shutup because ..

So take care kiddies write laters

kiss's


From: josh.********@********.org
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 11:01 AM


i feel like really being mean today too. it's just one of those moods im in. plus its really fun sometimes.

Here’s my Maddox rant (without the swearing)

First of all, books are a waste of time. i could understand maybe a textbook, where you actually learn something and gain some knowledge. but when you read about wizards and beasts and swordsmen you might as well sit in front of Charlie Browns parents for a few hours and listen to them talk. What is the deal with people and books? my mom always tries to get me to read a book, telling me how good it is? Well, you know what happens during the time you read a book? People are doing things. people are getting stuff done. People are accomplishing. Meanwhile you are opening up your noggin and pouring diarrhea on your brain. Why live in a fantasy land? why read about some other morons experiences when i can have my own? Movies are more entertaining. plus you don't have to think. i will not talk about fat people right now because I’m going to eat Wendy’s.

all i can say is i can eat Wendy’s and they cant.


From: lewis.********@********.org
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 11:19 AM

Josh, your rant had some good points until you said 'movies are more entertaining'. While this may or may not be true, if books are diarrhea then movies are the old moldy cheeseburger that the doctor finds in the 599 lbs. woman's fat flabs that has attracted a colony of maggots creating the most horrible mixture of thought poison known to man or wizard. Except for "12 Monkeys", that movie was sweet! (he totally saw himself in the airport man!!)

The reason I like books is because they are excellent fodder for the conversations I get into with you guys. Stranger is sweet. As for shameless fun books, I recommend "John Carter of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs (he created Tarzan). It's about John Carter who's actually from earth, he just gets mystically transported to mars where several dying races are fighting to survive on a once healthy prosperous planet. Also the guy who worked receiving Menards was named John Carter, he was a weirdo though.

With the Ninth Ray of Barsoom!
Lewis


From: josh.********@********.org
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 11:01 AM

Listen lewis, i'm sure that these books provide excellent fodder for our conversations, but really, you don't even need to educate yourself about a man's experience on mars to talk with us. You know why? Because all outer-space/medieval war books are the same. the same plot. The same ending. The same idea. I will now write a quick Martian novel.


John is an intelligent, ambitious young man and works for a pioneer astronomical company. his relationships struggle because he prioritizes his work. His wife hates him and wants to leave him, not only because of his poor communication, but also because of his zitty face and saggy nips. so he heads out to mars on a spaceship. he is instructed to set up a small colony with his fellow astronauts. things go well until one night, their biodome pops, due to weird booger-like Martians. jon and friends chase the Martians, soon discovering a huge Martian city. They attempt to fit in with the Martians, and one of the astronauts tries dating one, and they have kids. The kids somewhat resemble half-booger, half-cheeseburger nugget things. As the kids grow older, they rebel and start a Martian war. Once earth hears about this, they supply troops to mars, which is basically a failed attempt. A war between worlds begins, and at the last second, earth develops a giant fart bomb that destroys all life on mars, including earthlings. The end.

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